If you're a struggling parent, this read may just be for you!
Hi! I am sorry I have been a little silent lately. The truth is I have been off balance and the Lord is dealing with me about consistency. I have been struggling or just surviving for a while. I've been too inconsistent with things. I think we are all trying to get back into a groove. Life has been quite chaotic and a little difficult since being home almost 5 months due to COVID and having 2 hurricanes come our way. In trying to get back to a balanced life, I have been doing a lot of reflecting. As usual, I am going to be transparent and very real with you. I'm imperfect! I struggle! I make mistakes. I don't always do or say the right things. I cry. I pray. I get weary. I need God's grace, mercy, love, and strength just as much as the next person. I take a step forward and get knocked back 10 ft. I'm sure you know the feeling! It seems like everyone that I know is facing a giant. My heart feels heavy for so many. My heart is heavy for my Beau, my children, my family, my friends, my students, our nation, etc. Obstacles stack up. Negativity rises. Bitterness grips at the heart. Darkness tries to surround and blind from God's many blessings. The busyness of life attempts to take over. Loss seems inevitable. The light at the end of the tunnel seems dim. The thing is we all face hardships, trials, and tribulations. We all have battles that we have to fight. We all go through different seasons and walk through valleys. Here's been one of my battles lately. I'm in a season where my babies are growing up. It's hard letting go. They are not babies anymore. I do not feel as in control as I once did. Now, before I tell you my story, let me say that I have great kids. They are truly outstanding. I love them with all my heart and I am so very proud of them. They make my heart burst with joy each day. They also keep me on my toes and my knees. I am just going to be a real mama for a minute. Please, no judgement! A few weeks ago, the book NOT A FAN came to my mind. I had read it several years ago. I recommend this book if you have not read it. It's a great read! I felt it would be a great conversation piece for me and my kids while driving down the road. After explaining the main idea of the book, I asked them if they felt they were a fan of Jesus or a follower of Jesus? Again, being very real with you, I was disheartened by some of their answers. I wasn't expecting a few of the comments. I immediately started questioning myself. What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong as their mom? What am I not doing? What do I need to do different? Am I really that bad of a parent? Why is my kid saying this or doing this? Did I not teach them well enough? Then, I started panicking thinking of all the WHAT IF things that could take place. You don't do that, do you? I should have just stopped right there and changed my thought process. However, I didn't. I kept beating myself up and reflecting on all of my faults and failures as a parent. To be honest, I'm still reflecting. I'm still praying and seeking God on what to do, how to do, and when to do. This is what the Lord has been speaking to me since the conversation. You see, before jumping to any conclusions, our kids are facing many things TODAY that many of us have never faced or have even thought about facing. If we really knew all that kids face, we would be in total shock and panic mode. What I do know of amazes me and makes my heart heavy at night when I can really process it all. I will tell you that I never dreamed one of my children would fight anxiety. It's real! The struggle is real! I've never prayed so much for peace & comfort. Like I said, I'm imperfect. My family is imperfect but we sure are trying. We get knocked back, but keep pressing on. I keep reminding myself that the Lord trusted me with my children. He would not have blessed me with my babies if I wasn't the right person for the job. I may do things wrong and say the wrong things sometimes, but I'm the right mom for the job. That is my job. My job is to parent and teach them right from wrong. It's also my place to teach them the Word of God. I may not can be their best friend right now, but that day will come later. I also remind myself that the Lord trusts my children to live in this day and time. He has placed them at this hour for such a time as this. They may keep me on my toes and my knees, but the Lord trusts them and me for this appointed time. We will overcome these adversities. My family will be victorious! To obtain victory, I must be more consistent with my words and actions. In Sunday school today, it was mentioned that the number 1 cause of Atheism is the lack of consistency in Christians. People proclaim to be Christians with their mouths but live very differently from their proclamation. This stirred my heart so much! I must be more consistent in my daily walk with the Lord as well as use the authority God has given me for my children to believe! I keep thinking of that scripture in Judges 2:10 that talks about how there came a generation that knew not the Lord. This terrifies me! I must make sure to pray so that my children hear the prayers. I must read my Bible in front of my children. I must make sure that my children are in the presence of God or have an opportunity to feel his presence. I must bring them to house of God. To be honest, my prayers and bible reading are usually done in privacy. I need to adjust that. There is nothing wrong with having a personal devotion time, but there is also a time to model what a relationship with God looks like for our children. If they never see us reading the Bible, how can we expect them to read it on their own? If they never hear us pray, how can we expect them to raise their voice to the Lord in prayer? If we do not go to God's house, how will they feel the presence of God? Yes, we are the church and the presence of God is not confined to the church house. I know this! However, there is something about coming together with fellow believers and being in an atmosphere of worship, praise, and edification. If we do not teach them the Word of God, who will? These are just things that the Lord is dealing with me about. It's all about making sure our words and actions align and it's hard to do without a consistent lifestyle. I'm not sure what you are struggling with tonight as a parent. It may be anxiety, depression, rebellion, sickness, etc. Again, there are so many things that our babies face on a daily basis. However, remind yourself that the Lord has entrusted you with your children for such a time as this. Reflect, pray, and be as consistent as you can! Sleep tonight with this scripture on your heart. Psalm 138: 7 says "Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life." Psalm 9:10 says "And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee."
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